Today the topic is about emotions and how to let go of plans and let yourself feel what is here and now.
Yesterday, waking up with emotional energy flowing as sadness. I got up, sat down at the morning table, eating and then it burst out. While eating, the tears ran down the cheeks, like a little child who lost all sense of hope, merely embodying his emotions and accepting this, by letting it all go. It went on for about 15 minutes. The Celine Dion – “It’s all coming back to me Now” was put on the cd-player. Instantly MORE tears ran and a kind of howling, as Siberian Husky’s do it when sad, sounds was expressed. The mind came about to instruct me to not let this affect me, get on with you daily doings and plans. “You’re missing out on your yoga, now it is all ruined.” “How can you ever start coaching anyone if you, yourself can be sad and weak”. Instead I forgave myself in the moment. “Nothing is wrong with me, I am what I am. Letting myself feel what is real is the best I can do.”
The morning and day went on, later going to build up a community page for the Rubjerg area where we are living atm. Coming home, the mind has still kept the idea that exercises would be good. But again no action happened. Yes laying down on the couch, really relaxing listening to Mooji and just laying and feeling. Many thoughts runs through the mind, and how easily it actually is to let them pass when no interest or attention is given to them. Ouch! at 1345pm, girlfriend is coming home, lets open up windows and let in some fresh air! Again mind played tricks and visioning how things should be carried out, I should act happy and welcoming. Instead I just remained sitting in the couch, though opening the windows! She came in and then another burst of energy but for action to help out with groceries and lets make some dinner. Beautiful dinner, with sandwiches and vegetables! Even admitting to her that, I have cried today. How wonderful of the ability to be honest and truthful with one another. Then the insight came:
Despite waking up, emotional energy flowing as sadness and tears. It is never too late to recognize once again, the FREEDOM and LOVE we are!
It all comes down to this single thing. One simply misunderstanding of what we are. Yes accepting our emotions is beneficial, cause its the experience that teaches and shows us what we are. I am the one looking and observing, the emotions and feelings which runs through this body and mind. I am –
By letting yourself feel and acknowledge the present moment. By that forgetting all your plans on how things should be like, but simply merge with what is here and now. A sense of freedom and acceptance fills the room. This gift you can pass on to your brothers at all times! When emotions of thoughts from them come up and they think they are wrong. How big the illusions might get in this net they are building, you stay put, cause you know in all of this that its okay and its not something we are, its simply an experience! This freedom and certainty this knowledge presents manifests itself by embodying and looking at your brothers as knowing they are okay. Even though body seems like totally molested and utterly decaying, you see right through the idol of the body into the very soul, knowing its all okay, you are not wrong, you are not weak, you are all okay.
Then the day turned everything around, exercises went great, the yoga also. Girlfriend feeling happy and again surprising both of us by her extreme skills of cooking! Mmm, what a delicious dinner, here is the pictures and see the mindmap for ingredients: Body Diary – 11 – 12.june